


The Monster in Hagrid's Pants

by Karita Wyr (karitawyr)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Care of Magical Creatures, Gen, Hagrid enjoys his predicament, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:59:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24418504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karitawyr/pseuds/Karita%20Wyr
Summary: Hagrid has a rare creature to show his class.  Unfortunately, someone lets it out.
Kudos: 4





	The Monster in Hagrid's Pants

**Author's Note:**

> Back in 2005, shortly before _The Half-Blood Prince_ came out, Nimori had an idea to create a large, multi-author fanfic that was titled "Harry Potter and the Half-Baked Patchwork Fic." Crazy chapter titles were submitted and distributed to willing authors. This was my chapter. Written July 2005.

The Gryffindors and the Slytherins filed down the hill to Hagrid's hut for the final examination of the year in Care of Magical Creatures. Fortunately since it was an exam day, the students did not have to drag the Monster Book of Monsters down the hill. Neville never was quite able to make his behave, and he sported a new bandage after each class. Ron took perverse pleasure in locking his Monster Book up with his potions text, hoping that the omnivorous book would like to  
make a snack of it.

Once at the bottom of the hill, the students gathered in a loose circle around the steps of the hut. Hagrid stepped through the doorway just as the last students arrived.

"Good, good, yer all here," Hagrid boomed. "Ready to begin yer exam? Alrigh' then. Take yer seats in the grass and we'll begin."

Hagrid reached inside the hut and pulled out a large birdcage. Inside the cage was a tiny golden puff of a bird. Its peered at each student successively with its red eyes before fluttering around frantically as if it were having a seizure in midair. "Yeh are to write down everythin' you know 'bout this little beauty here."

Harry knew what it was immediately. He wondered which pub Hagrid had been drinking in when he met the shady character who sold him that snidget. Snidgets were a protected species. At one time snidgets had been an integral part of Quidditch because they flew so swiftly and were able to change directions in an instant. Of course, it was often killed when the seeker caught it. These days capturing or killing one carried a heavy penalty.

Apparently Hermione also recognized the creature because she was urgently gesturing for Hagrid's attention. Harry scooted closer to hear what she had to say.

"Hagrid, you'll be sent to Azkaban for sure if anyone turns you in," Hermione whispered.

"Ah, Hermione, it's alrigh' really. Got a special dispensation from the Ministry teh show her to yeh. Now, go on an' write yer essay."

While Hagrid's assurances comforted Hermione, their brief conversation drew Hagrid's rather limited attention away from the birdcage. Out of the corner of his eye, Harry could see Crabbe releasing the latch on the cage.

"No!" Harry shouted, rushing to his feet. He was too late.

The little bird darted out of the cage and zipped amongst the students before alighting briefly on a nearby bush. From there it flew under Millicent Bulstrode's skirt, but it didn't stay long. Harry could certainly understand why it didn't.

It flew rings around a group of screaming girls, then soared straight up into the air and straight back down again. Harry spotted it skimming the ground near the pumpkin patch. He lost sight of it after that.

"Where'd it go?" Ron asked, scanning the skies.

"I know," Hermione said.

"Where?" Harry asked, still searching the area near the garden.

Hermione pointed. Harry looked where she indicated but saw nothing, then he noticed the slight bulge in Hagrid's trousers around the ankle.

"Is that…" Ron began.

"Yes," Hermione answered.

"Doesn't he realize…"

"He's about to, I should think."

Hagrid was trying to calm some of the more excitable students when he must have felt the bird. He jumped about a meter, which wasn't easy for a half giant.

Harry stared at the lump in Hagrid's trousers as it moved from the knee to the thigh and even further north. All the while, Hagrid danced about trying to shake the snidget free.

"Class is dismissed. Everyone is gettin' an "O" on the, oooooooooh, on the exam."

The class stared in awkward fascination at the bird-sized lump darting around in Hagrid's trousers until the gentle giant shuffled off toward the Forbidden Forest.

Just as Hagrid entered the trees, Harry thought he heard Hagrid mutter, "Definitely outstandin' work. A little to the left if yeh could manage…"


End file.
